The words we say to ourselves have power. If we say them enough, we start to believe them and our mind and bodies start to move towards making them real.
This is a double-edged sword in that the words we tell ourselves can be used for good – or for bad. It’s all too easy to speak negatively to ourselves, to assume the worst, to rationalize why something won’t work out.
What would happen if we took control of the words we say to ourselves? What would have to change so that we can flip the script on the words that we choose to tell ourselves?
What if, instead of beating ourselves up, we practiced being our own best friends? And what if we showed up every day and listened to the words of our best friend?
What might that person say?
It doesn’t even have to be a “best friend”. It could be a partner, a parent, a boss, or a member of the opposite sex. It’s not as important who says it, what’s important are the words.
So what kind of words would you like to hear, and can you begin a practice of instilling those words throughout your days, weeks, months, and years?
Words have power yet we are all our own first line of defense against what we allow ourselves to focus on. Learn to become your own best friend and begin to speak (or think) the words that will enable you to feel the way you want to feel.
Over time, this may become the new norm (and likely will!) and will have a tremendous impact on the way you feel and behave in the world.
So how can you implement this in your own life and start rewriting the script in your head? Start by scheduling it into your days. It need only take a minute and can be something you do as part of your morning routine.
Perhaps you’ll find it useful to schedule multiple breaks in your day to practice speaking aloud the words your best friend (parent, partner) would say to you. Or you can speak the words in your head.
The fact of the matter is, you must take responsibility for the words that you say to yourself.
The mind is an incredibly powerful tool, so start feeding it the right power source and watch how your world – both your interior world and the exterior world – transform!
Try this: Every time a negative thought comes up (maybe you find yourself imagining a disturbing situation or you actually find yourself in that situation), catch the thoughts and practice replacing them with the words of your best friend.
Ask yourself, “what would my best friend say to me in this situation?”. Make this into a practice by using the negative thought as a signal that it’s time to flip the script.
In case you doubt the effectiveness of this practice or don’t believe it’s worth doing just remember that thoughts are ephemeral, transient, impermanent things that we create. Thinking a thought doesn’t make it so (although our bodies will take the thought and turn it into a tangible thing, in the form of a feeling).
The point is, thoughts are whatever we want them to be! There are no rules and they aren’t set in stone so why not use thoughts to our advantage and choose words that support us in our lives rather than hurt us?
The choice seems obvious, doesn’t it?